Help for High-Conflict Couples

Having a healthy, loving and connected relationship is one of the most rewarding experiences.  Couples often start out in a good place and can’t imagine things going awry.  The biologically necessary attachment bonding chemical process (the “honeymoon” phase) that connects people can also shield each other from what might become cracks in the relationship later. 

Happy 2024, I Have a Few Things for You

2023 was quite a year.  To say there have been some challenges is an understatement but my hope for you is that you are finding some inspiration and optimism for the New Year.  There were highs, lows and transitions for many.  LoveAndlLifeToolbox.com was about experimentation and change in 2023.  The site has gone through a

5 Steps to Create Positive Change in Your Relationship

Marriage and/or long-term intimate relationships have the potential to be incredibly rewarding and people generally do the best they can with what they know.  Couples can generally do well over time but many hit emotional speed bumps.  No matter when or how a relationship feels strain, ideally there is some reflection and curiosity by one

Whether Single or in a Relationship, Flirting is Good For Your Health

If you are single or in a relationship, it is paramount that you know how to flirt. It not only improves your relationships with others, it also improves your physical and emotional health. A prerequisite to the following lessons is having an understanding of what flirting is not before elaborating on what it is. It is

Is Your Relationship in Red Alert?

The most dangerous relationship threats aren’t always the most visible; like a pattern of high conflict, lack of kindness or disrespect.  Those are clearly problematic signs that need attention but the behaviors that are sometimes the least detectable can create a significant vulnerability in the relationship where emotional safety levels have taken a serious hit.

Too Independent in Your Relationship?

Jennifer Chappell Marsh, MFT explores independence vs interdependence in relationships and what secure attachment looks like. Many of us have heard the saying, “At the end of the day, you only have yourself to fall back on…” We are taught from a young age that independence is a good thing; a source of strength and pride.

Healthy Relationships: Assessing the Emotional Safety

Couples seek relationship counseling for numerous reasons.  No matter what issues they present to therapy with, it often can be boiled down to a problem with the emotional safety in their relationship.  The most hostile, distant or disengaged couples are not the only ones who can be challenged with a lack of emotional safety.  Those

10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships

People seeking couples counseling seek change to a relationship dynamic that isn’t working in some way.   The problems can include poor communication, lack of emotional safety , resentment, trust violations and many other issues.  It might even be that the couple have different ideas of what the problems are or simply a felt sense

3 Mistakes Couples Make in Relationship Counseling

Couples counseling can be a helpful tool for a myriad of issues, from significant disconnection and resentment to do a simple check-in to be sure things are going well.  Stress, life changes and other circumstances can put strain on any relationship.  Getting a refresher on communication skills, conflict management and doing a temperature check on

Mental Illness and Unconditional Love

Tom Smith lost his daughter to mental illness in 2003.  He touches on the importance of self-esteem in a society that often compares, continuing to shed light on mental health stigma.   Unconditional love lies at the heart of helping a loved one with mental health issues develop positive self-esteem. But as a society we are